July 2023 – Audio Version

“I don’t know what I’m doing or how to initiate…this!!” I blurted out, gesticulating helplessly with my hands. 

For the past two and a half hours, the pressure to make a move on Jack had been increasing within my brain until I could barely think straight, and my heartburn was nearing a volcanic temperature. To my Inner Goddess’ keen frustration, Jack had kept me riveted by the tales and exploits of his youth. Mine had been an extremely sheltered childhood, and I hungrily absorbed the adventures I could only dream of. But the hour was growing late, and my Inner Goddess worried Jack would leave without a chance to experience the strength and allure of his athletic body. 

“I am trying!” I had protested to my impatient Inner Goddess. “Look, my knee is touching his knee, and I’m leaning into the conversation.” My efforts sounded like weak excuses even to myself.

“Are you kidding me?” My Inner Goddess was not amused in the slightest. “What is this, Middle School?”

“What if…what if he changed his mind?” My voice quivered. “I just can’t take it…I’m not resilient enough right now.”

My Inner Goddess began to assert herself to take control of the situation, rising within me to her full glory, wings starting to unfurl. Terrified of how she might reveal herself, I abruptly interrupted our conversation and exclaimed: 

“I don’t know what I’m doing or how to initiate…this!! I count on one hand the number of…” I paused and struggled to find the right title: Lovers? Guys? Paramours? My awkward mind settled on the outdated Victorian term, “…callers, I have invited to my home. I have pulled down the covers. I’m wearing lingerie but beyond that…I haven’t a clue what to do!!” I finished my rambling confessional, embarrassment blushing my cheeks. He had been teasing and inciting salacious thoughts with my Inner Goddess all week, and still, I hesitated to trust. 

Jack merely chuckled and gave a slight shake of his head. 

“You don’t have to worry,” a relaxed grin spread across his sculpted face. “I figured we would chat and relax before I take you back to the bedroom.” A devilish gleam lit behind his eyes. 

Deep relief must have been evident on my face as he continued, “Oh, we are definitely having sex tonight!”

My Inner Goddess giggled as I inhaled and released a deep breath melting back into the comfort of my couch. Jack picked up the last threads of our conversation with perfect leisure while sipping his cocktail. Jack’s assurances momentarily appeased my Inner Goddess, but she kept a close eye on my management of the situation. 

I was blathering about something or other when suddenly Jack leaned close, his long fingers slipping around the curve of my neck. I froze, and my words faltered in the air as his chiseled face drew near. I’m unsure if I even remembered to breathe.

“I’m sorry, but I’m just so distracted by your lips and wanting to kiss you. I wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying.” Jack’s voice was just a whisper, and his face was barely an inch from my own.

My eyes were big as poppies, and my heart fluttered. I closed the distance between us, locking our lips in a first kiss. Jack’s left arm snaked around my waist and held me. Gawd, he was an excellent kisser, and the rum from his cocktail only heightened the sweet taste of his mouth. My body yearned for more, but my mind held me back. 

“Slid into his lap.” Urged my Inner Goddess, poking me in the ribs.

 I shook my head imperceptibly, my muscles hardening in fear of rejection. I felt incredibly torn and conflicted between my trepidation and the demands of my Inner Goddess. Realizing I could not make rational decisions, my Inner Goddess flared her wings and gave me a solid push forward. I suddenly found myself straddling Jack’s muscular thighs and then melting as his kisses deepened in appreciation of the new position. 

We remained there for some time, exploring the depth of each other’s mouths and the heat of our bodies as it radiated through our clothes. Jack’s compelling hands gripped my firm buttocks as I experimentally began to grind against his hips and body. I felt his glory burgeoning beneath me as Jack’s fingers gripped my flesh, urging my efforts deeper against him. Like a fog dissolving in the rays of the sun, my darkness began to ebb away at the light of Jack’s presence. If nothing else happened for the rest of the evening, my Inner Goddess was radiant and grateful for the masculine attention. 

“Enough of this!” Jack said resolutely as his rippling arms tightened around me. With lithe grace, Jack rose from the couch with me clutched to his chest, legs wrapped about his hips. Ignoring my protests concerning my weight, he strode to the bedroom and gently placed me on the cool sheets. Good gracious!! Where did the Fates find these lovers?! Being lifted and carried off, whether tenderly or dominantly, has a wild effect on my Inner Goddess, leaving both of us clay in my lover’s hands—a secret I had not divulged to Jack. 

My legs still encircled Jack’s waist as he leaned over me, kissing my lips, down my jawbone, over my neck, to nibble my earlobe carefully. His lips moved down and brushed my collarbone before repeating the process in reverse and finally settling on my lips again. I audibly moaned. I could not help myself. It had been so long since I had felt the attention of another on my skin. Starved for touch, I began to unclasp the wooden buttons of my sage romper to reveal the lingerie hidden beneath. I needed his flesh against mine to feel the weight of his chest against my breasts. With Jack’s assistance, I wriggled my hips free from the linen before he whisked off his thin shirt to reveal his toned and hairless chest. 

My Inner Goddess panted. Yes, yes…I felt urgency swelling within my chest and cursed the confines of my sapphire negligee. The delicate lace one-piece had seemed like a sexy idea hours ago, but now it was an annoyance I wanted to shed from my skin. I barely allowed Jack a chance to admire the way it highlighted my curves before I slipped the thin spaghetti straps from my shoulders, and it joined our clothes and the wooden floor. 

Feet still affixed to the floor, Jack leaned his tanned body over my nakedness and returned to kissing me. I had been so focused on escaping my negligee that I had not registered that his pants were no longer concealing the strapping glory I had been eagerly grinding against in the living room. I could feel the length against my abdomen as Jack rested the weight of his body against me. Of their own accord, my legs once more wrapped around his masculine form, pulling him deeper against me as his lips began to caress each breast. 

Jack rose. The breeze from the fan quickly swept across my exposed breasts and pert nipples in the absence of his heated body. My Inner Goddess bit her lip, and my eyes rolled back as Jack narrowed his tongue and gave an exploratory lick through my goddess. The idea of becoming a nun and joining a convent now seemed like the most ludicrous of solutions as I gave myself over to Jack’s experienced worship. My Inner Goddess was becoming such an integral part of me, nearly vital to my existence. 

My craving had been repressed for so long, bubbling just below the surface, and it only took seconds for Jack to bring me to earth-shattering orgasmic bliss. I clawed the sheets at the intensity, surprised by the quick skill with which Jack splintered my fear and sent my legs and body to a quivering state of pleasure. A consummate lover, Jack gave his full attention to my goddess, changing swirls and licks to a fast repetitive motion as my back arched and I muffled my shrieks into the down of my pillow. I heard him chuckle in what I hoped was a delight. His long arms wrapped around the outside of my thighs, and his fingers held the flesh of my inner thighs as he devoured my soul. 

Rapture, bliss, and release consumed my mind and consciousness. 

Jack raised his glistening lips to the valley between my breasts as I tossed the pillow away from my face. My legs shook from the intensity of my orgasms. I could not formulate a coherent thought. My only focus was my nearly unquenchable longing for his body within mine. I did not have to wait long as Jack reached into his pocket and withdrew a foil. I was touched by his question and reassurance about the type of protection. While I do not have a latex allergy, the thoughtful consideration stirred my heart. 

“Enough chatter!!” Begged my yearning Inner Goddess as she lustfully watched the slip of protection slowly migrate down the impressive length of my companion. 

At last, Jack crawled onto the bed and held his might over my body, allowing me the opportunity to change my mind. Though appreciated, that was quite an inconceivable option. I reached between us to cup the weight of his jewels in my palm, feeling the tip of his straining glory as it grazed my forearm. I guided his yearning head to my goddess, trying to show restraint and camouflage my crazed want, terrified I would unnerve Jack if he only knew the intensity of my longing. 

My hips rose to meet his as Jack eased his greatness within me. My Inner Goddess cried out as his ridged head pressed over, passed my inner jewel, and stretched to the very doors of my inner gateway. I clung to him as my body adjusted around his swelling girth. This was my church, the holiest of sanctuaries, and my orgasms, my eternal worship to the gods and Fates themselves. 

Jack began to move his muscular body, increasing the tempo as he discovered the intense capacity my body was capable of handling. I barely felt the pressure of my knobby knees against my shoulders as Jack’s formidable barrage redoubled. One arm clutched his lithe body as my opposite arm crushed the decorative pillow into my face, dulling my vibrant exaltation. 

We rotated positions, with me on all fours, as Jack positioned himself behind the curvaceous temptation of my buttocks, fingers curled around my hip bones. Then I prostrated myself against the mattress as Jack continued to elicit screaming orgasm after screaming orgasm from my Inner Goddess, his nimble fingers lightly woven into the coils of my sapphire curls. I wanted to encourage Jack to tighten his grip, but the artistry with which he used me made it utterly impossible for me to utter anything but a cry to the gods as my hips bucked against his masculine power. 

I found myself straddling Jack’s body as he reclined against my pillows. Our bodies cooled as the fan whispered about our glistening bodies. We were both panting but far from being finished. I began to undulate above him, impaled by his noble glory. Gods, it felt like it had been years, not merely weeks, since I had the honor of companionship. I wondered if I was selfish in my need, taking more than offered, but Jack just smiled up at me. 

I reveled as I learned about Jack’s body—his desires, what pleased him, and how to evoke a moan from his honeyed lips. I caressed the expanse of his chest. I traced the outline of his muscles and leaned close for a kiss as my hand cupped his angular jaw. I breathed him in, heady in the beauty of his masculinity, his scent an aphrodisiac to my senses.

My body rose in concert with his hips, our rhythm and flow reaching the depths of my Inner Goddess. I surged above him, changing the angle as my body required. Leaning against his chest, face buried in the pillow by his head as Jack kissed my neck, then rising to lean back, supporting my quaking body on the tight muscles of his thighs. Over and over, Jack allowed me to use his body as my orgasms claimed my desperate form, tilting his hips to increase my rapture’s angle and furious intensity as his fingers fondled or lips suckled my breasts. 

My hands pressed against the breadth of Jack’s rippling pecs, his hands gripping my narrow waist, when I felt a rise in his essence. Jack’s breath was coming in short gasps as he began to control our movements once more, his thrust becoming deeper and bearing serious intention. I wanted to focus on his exquisite acceleration, but his acute vigor multiplied the forcefulness of my orgasm. His swelling glory amplified and drowned me as our mutual pleasure swelled until we exploded together in profound passion. Stars exploded around us until we gasped for breath. I collapsed, sweaty against his chest at our triumph, his glory giving one last potent pulse within me. 

We cuddled for the longest time. Our conversation picked up as if nothing had happened. Our fingers lazily traced the other’s body. My Inner Goddess glowed at the easy communion. Gradually, I felt his heart slow and gently beat against my cheek. The Moon Goddess the only witness to the sweet intimacy of two souls. 

Rising for water and refreshment, I noted the lateness of the hour, apologizing for delaying him. My Inner Goddess gave me “The Look.” It might not be so late if I had not allowed my nervousness to have so much control. I bowed my head, chastised under her glare. 

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome…but I do not have to go.” Jack smoothly responded as he drained his glass of arctic cold water. My eyes lingered over his nude body, noting the outline of muscles in his long arms, washboard abs, and sturdy legs. I was slow to comprehend the weight and meaning of Jack’s words. 

“Do you have to work tomorrow?” He quired. 

“Umm…no…” Understanding finally dawned on my ding-dong of a mind. “I can have a lazy morning.” Could it be?! Was Jack offering to stay after only one night of fellowship? My heart sped up, and my brain fuzzed, fearing to believe the possibility of a night of masculine companionship. 

As I helped situate his phone and adjusted the lights, I counted back to the last time a man had graced my bed for an overnight stay. Nine months. It had been nine long months since a man had clutched me to his chest as I listened to the slowing rhythm of his breathing. Watching as he drifted off to sleep in my arms. 

I rolled onto my left as he gathered me into his arms, pressing me tight as his body curled around to spoon me. I choked down a sob. Memories raced through me as my body remembered the familiarity of the position. My Inner Goddess would never forgive me, and Jack might never return if I liquified into a blubbering mess. My turmoil and relief could wait. I wanted nothing to spoil the moment of being held in a man’s arms. I slowed my breathing, willing with every fiber of my being for my wounded heart to settle. I nestled closer and relaxed as Jack nuzzled me in response. 

Morpheus showered us in blissful rest as the curtains of sleep settled over our naked, entwined bodies. I felt no fear or confusion as we repositioned in the following quiet hours of the night. Each simply adjusted and snuggled into the new position. We did not stop touching until the morning light filtered through the top of the indigo curtain. I woke to soft kisses on my forehead, and my Inner Goddess cooed at the morning intimacy. I smiled as I pressed into the warmth and security of his bare chest.

With casual and arousing finesse, Jack worked his caressing fingers down my length. My body blossomed under his touch, my legs unfolding as I allowed him access to my pearl and goddess. The Fates have honored me with adroit lovers. Jack was no exception as his thumb teased and swirled my pearl until I found myself again in the throws of my orgasms. My face was once more entombed in the depths of my pillow, nails furiously clutching the soft fabric as Jack’s fingers slipped within my goddess to massage my inner jewel. My Inner Goddess wondered if there could be a more divine way to welcome a new day.

Jack wanted me again and reached for a foil resting on the headboard, but my Inner Goddess stopped him. Knowing not all enjoy oral ministrations. I said it was my turn to reciprocate if he felt so amenable. My Inner Goddess was pleased with Jack’s earnest consent as I lowered my head to his sleek and bobbing glory, gingerly taking him between my lips. My left hand embraced his smooth jewels, feeling their heft in my palm while my right stroked and gripped the bulging shaft of his pronounced glory. Heavens, not only was the taste of Jack’s lips sweet, but the eagerness of his impending orgasm was almost intoxicating.

I found my cadence as my hand and mouth rose, attempting to take him ever deeper into the darkness of my throat but never quit succeeding all the way. My Inner Goddess smirked, a challenge for another day. I focused, narrowing my concentration every time I heard Jack groan or felt the hand restraining the curls from my face tighten. Lick, swirl, slide up and down my lips tight against his shaft, repeated the process over and over. I watched in keen satisfaction as his free hand balled into a fist at his side. 

I cannot recall the words Jack spoke, but I grinned broadly as I relinquished my hold on his thickening glory and positioned myself on all fours as he rolled the protection down the pole of his glory. My Inner Goddess could not resist giving my hips a wiggle in temptation at the perceived delay. My orgasm exploded like a sudden ray of light as Jack submerged his great swollen need within my goddess, his a willing captive to the tight warmth of my body. 

Jack held himself immobile, allowing me to reach the crest, the height of my orgasm, and dissolve in the waves. With a keen perception of my readiness, Jack seized my hips and began to launch into a frenzied assault on my ripe body. I ignored my lungs request for air as I burrowed my head into the sheets. My elbows dug into the mattress for support, and my fingers nearly tore the sheets as my Inner Goddess was transported from my body. 

An invisible feeling rose from our union, pricking my Inner Goddess and drawing her attention to our clashing bodies. My favorite moment was edging nearer. While not necessary, and I am conscious that it is not always an option, nothing brings me greater joy than my partner achieving their moment, especially when I have been gifted countless orgasms. Still lost in the crescendo and cataclysm of my orgasm, my Inner Goddess rejoiced at the growing swell and cheered with all her heart as the might of his detonation surged and rippled through me.

With a tremendous shuttering sigh, Jack flattened himself against my back, planting the softest kisses on my neck and shoulders as our orgasms gradually ebbed and floated away. I was rendered speechless. Not only had Jack given me a marvelous evening, but I was gifted the distinction of his company for the morning. My heart felt lighter than it had in days, possibly weeks.

In a mirror representation of our evening, we lay back on the limp sheets, nesting together as our bodies recovered. My eyes fluttered shut as Jack chatted in the allure of the new day, the fans whispering tirelessly above and beside us. I marveled at the serenity of our fledgling friendship and rested in the assurance that we were on mutual terms. No strings, no commitments. We chatted, volleying our conversation back and forth without awkwardness or uncomfortable pauses until Jack’s phone chirped, reminding us of the world and work beyond ourselves.

As we had predicted, our time together had been magnificently spectacular, exceeding my expectations. Because of Jack and his extraordinary and enthusiastic dedication, I had once more connected with my wilting Inner Goddess, finding harmony once more with a part of my soul that had been repressed and reviled for far too many years. After he had gone, I danced about my apartment, careless of my movements or the weight of my dancing feet to the neighbors below me. Maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay. 

Until next time, XO. Elsie