January 2024 – Audio Version

Poor Jack, the man deserved far better. In three words, I was peevish, irritable, and cantankerous. I did not want to be around myself.

With two laptops before me, their fluorescent blue lights created a hypnotic glaze over my eyes as they flicked back and forth between the wide screens. The changing weather pattern was having an uncomfortable effect, and the dull, medicated headache mercilessly drummed against my temple as I unconsciously massaged my tense right shoulder and neck. Yet, there was more than just fluxing weather at work. It had not been my accustomed run-of-the-mill intimate inconvenience. It had been weird, and I was intolerable, my emotions edgy and nettlesome the entire weekend. My attitude was a veritable pinball, while my desire for chocolate had not been its customary craving but a categorical addiction necessary for my very existence, barely sated by a giant skillet brownie with ice cream à la mode. I am rather ashamed to admit that I ate the whole darn thing without sharing a single bite with Jack. I was grumpy, overwhelmed, and, above all, hormonal. The disastrous trio of emotions kept my Inner Goddess forcibly locked away for the weekend.

Somewhat adding to my crummy mood was Jack’s wondrously sedate perspective. Always calm and reassuring, he had remained my steadfast rock, ever smiling and pulling me close until my petulance ebbed. Why was he not cross and frustrated with me? I was embarrassed and hated myself for my rotten predilection that seemingly remained outside of my control. Why was he not pressuring or hinting at intimate things, making me feel worse about myself? We had spent our weekend together, but because of my nearly unbearable intimate inconvenience, we had not “been” together. Why was he so patient with me? It made no sense. Inwardly growling, I turned away from the things I could not understand, pouring over the coffee table and redoubling my focus on my all-consuming assignments. 

The couch/bed rustled behind me, but I thought nothing of it until gentle but insistent hands pushed aside the fingers gripping my throbbing shoulder. Jack positioned himself on his knees behind me as his firm hands replaced my own. I sighed as every muscle crumpled into the firm support of Jack’s upright body. My eyes closed, and the back of my head rested against his breastbone in complete surrender. It was probably not the most helpful thing I could have done as he carefully manipulated the taut, angry muscles, but I was helpless at his nearness. I sighed again as the bubbling magma settled within me, beginning to cool at his massaging caress.  

Lulled and eyes closed, I smiled as his honeyed breath eddied over my exposed shoulder, and the lightest butterfly kisses marked my skin. I signaled my acknowledgment by pressing back a bit but remained sightless as I absorbed the mollifying ethos of Jack’s nearness. All morning, I had been far too uncomfortable and unfairly prickly to be seduced, my Inner Goddess unhelpfully beyond all reach. However, unbeknownst to me, Jack held a secret golden key, and gods of Olympus, did he know just when and where to exert it.

Broad fingers still compressing and kneading, Jack’s lips were poised against my flesh, tracing from the cap of my shoulder up the milky colonnade of my neck until kisses were serenely placed in the sacred hallow just behind my ear. That’s when he wielded his cabalistic key. Nuzzling closer, deeper, it was his two-day-old scruff rasping over my delicate skin that truly untangled my tetchy aura and ultimately unlocked the cell imprisoning my Inner Goddess. 

Before I could restrain it, a moan escaped my lips at the unexpected abrasion scouring my sensitive nape. A teeny corner of my mind grumbled at the unexpected seductive attention. We were perfectly happy being miserable. Why did he have to go and ruin a perfectly sour mood? Mind you, this preposterous thought was exceedingly fleeting as my loins began to warm and ache, and my Inner Goddess rose from her forced enclosure, slowly at first as if rising from a wintery hibernation.

Jack’s aristocratic nose and strong chin nudged deeper, and each prickling bristle set shivers rushing down my arms and incited goosebumps to tingle over my forearms. The erotic sensation was well-nigh unbearable. Nevertheless, I kept my head tilted, throat exposed in submission as Jack continued to subtly tender his advantage. It was wondrously delightful, and a growing part never wanted it to end. My hips wiggled into the concave of his body, and a whimper fell from my lips. 

“That’s not fair,” I whispered as my body tingled at the rough adoration. 

Jack froze at my words, remembering himself, and the spell nearly faded. However, his lips barely left my skin, his body infinitesimally entreating as he responded, “I really did want just to give you a massage.”

“We are way past that point!” My Inner Goddess silently quipped, relieved at her freedom and ruffling her cramped wings. 

She was markedly smug as she noted Jack’s corresponding response to my body’s warming invitation—the increased heat radiating from his body, the rapid breathing, and the coarse kisses creating havoc on my neck. Though seated, my knees felt weak, my arms numb. My Inner Goddess sensed the growing need Jack was struggling to keep in check for my benefit. I continued to lean against his cradling body, reveling in the continued contact of his rough infatuation on my skin. I was not being fair to either of us, especially not to Jack. He had been saintly and unselfish in his companionship. 

“Take him. We need him as much as he needs us!” Pleaded my Inner Goddess. 

I faltered. Though I was recovering, I remembered my intimate inconvenience, but she refused to accept the weak hesitancy. My Inner Goddess could have sworn she heard Jack groan as he lifted his head and buried his nose into the silky strands of my messy sapphire bun, his left hand cradling my cheek, the other lightly resting on the swoop of my right hip. Jack’s adroit movements were indulgent, threaded with desire but reticent and muted in deference to my monthly discomfort. I delayed just a wee bit more, allowing the slow, addicting seduction to melt the sharp curves of my dour attitude. 

When my Inner Goddess and the growing heat between my thighs could bear it no more, I rounded on Jack, forcing my lips against his. I think I took him by surprise, but at his keen response, everything swelled within, melting my lingering captious fog. I urged him to the back of the couch, legs unfurling as he reclined, and I scrambled onto his lap, spreading my legs on either side of him.

I ached and yearned for him. Yes, lust and carnal desire were interlaced, but they were not the defining, controlling factors. My soul and body coveted the union, the melting of our essence. For the past few nights, we had nested naked into each other’s comforting arms, but the memory barely sated the hunger I now suffered. It had been so long since I had truly experienced him, and I suddenly felt empty and void without him. Panicked insistence loomed every second I abstained from his body. 

Jack reiterated that his intentions had been purely focused on relieving my headache. I believed him, yet the hope flickering in his eyes betrayed and endeared him ever more to me. I dipped my head to his waiting lips, crushing my body to his chest as I squeezed my knees around his hips.  

He needed me, needed this. Like me, it was not just for sexual release but something far more valuable. In the midst of 7.888 billion people, someone wanted me in a sacred and consecrated way. My heart skipped at the acute realization. Wrapped in each other’s embrace, the doors to our innermost sanctum stood unbarred as we bared the darkest parts of ourselves to the other. Our souls stood in all their raw vulnerability, desperate to be seen, beseeching to be accepted, praying to be loved. 

In that hallowed space, our souls merged as our bodies cleaved together. It was not riotous or precisely explosive. My already cramping abdominal muscles dampened the full extent of my releases. Nonetheless, that was not the point as our bodies rolled and swayed together. He was mine, and I was his. My soul had missed him in the furthest corners of its existence. For a precious space of time, we lost ourselves in the familiar, affirming an unspoken bond between us. 

Even when we resumed our adjoining seats, and individual computer screens winked awake, our spirits remained fused and intertwined. The air around us quietly hummed with the enchantment of serenity. In the powerful nexus of our joining, my angst was prevented from returning, my entire being bathed in warm light and cherished contentment. Because of Jack’s patient forbearance and the arousing stimulation of his whiskers, all was finally right in my world. 

Until next time, XO. Elsie