May 2024 – Audio Version
Once more, I found myself adrift in a sea of boiling emotions, burdened with stress, guilt, and insecurity. It was an all too familiar mental and emotional state these days. In all fairness, I warned Jack ahead of time. Even sulkily offering him an easy out, a chance to stay away from the prickly little dragon quibbling and storming about my apartment. I could almost hear his chuckle between the lines of his text message. My version of grumpy did not even register as “grumpy” on his meter. His message continued, stating that he would arrive in a few short hours unless I asked him not to come.
I sighed. Jack deserved better than the malcontent dragon, roaring and threatening to undo me. Thankfully, my Inner Goddess rose, powerful and grand, to my aid. Her plan could have been improved, but it was fundamental and manageable. All I had to do was initiate. I knew Jack would quickly grasp the implications and mastermind each subsequent step.
There was no way my Inner Goddess was letting my emotional dragon have a chance at unburdening before she had her salacious needs met. Following my Inner Goddess’ prompting, I timed my preparations perfectly, addressing my stormy face and concealing waterproof and microfiber towels under the throw blanket on the couch for accessibility. It was more than just a hedonistic desire plaguing my Inner Goddess. My body and soul craved the intimate connection found only in the arms of My Love. I yearned for him at my core.
I patiently waited on my couch/bed while a show flickered mindlessly on the screen before me. As the minutes ticked by, my dragon settled while the wings of my Inner Goddess unfurled in hope. At last, I heard the telltale signs of a car door slamming and slipped to peek through the patio shades. My heart lept at the sight. He had indeed arrived. I pressed my ear to the cod metal of the front door, listening for each steady football heralding his advent.
It was an over-dramatic swing of the door, but it did not matter as I greeted my absent Love. I gave a cheery (though slightly contrived) greeting. Apparently, my prickly dragon was not quite asleep. Deliberately, I released my Inner Goddess, granting her unlimited sovereignty. Instinctively, my fingers wrapped around Jack’s neck as he stepped over the threshold, pulling him near for our first kiss in days. Our bodies moved as one through the entry until I could close and latch the door, my fingers fumbling blindly for the latch to secure my abode. Our lips never broke their connection. It was the third kiss, passionate and endless, that unbalanced Jack. Recognizing that my embrace was more than a simple hello, his bags dropped to the floor as his hands refamiliarized themselves with my hips, my breasts, all the way up to the graceful curvature of my neck.
However, my dragon persisted. It was his broad hands cupping my neck, strong fingers tangled in my sapphire curls at the base of my head, that threatened to unhinge me. There was so much to tell him! So much chaos to unburden and untangle upon his consoling sounding board. My Inner Goddess had no sympathy nor understanding for my personal turmoil.
Though our lips hardly separated, I felt his hot breath on my cheek. My heart skipped, and I parted my lips, begging for the playful company of his tongue on mine. My back was ramrod straight against the entry closet; one leg twisted around his hip and thigh. Our bodies compressed together until there was not even the slightest bubble of air between us.
Lost in his ethos, I could no longer control my extremities, but my Inner Goddess could. Dropping my intertwined leg and releasing his thigh, I stood with my feet rooted to the floor. My fingers were curled around the fabric of Jack’s shirt, my forearms flat against his sculpted chest as I began to propel him backward onto the waiting couch/bed. I flicked my eyes to his chiseled face, a tingle of fear whispering that perhaps my decisive finagling could be taken as aggressive or manipulative—silly me. I discovered surprise and delight registering and creasing the corner of his dazzling eyes.
Heartened, I pushed his bronze form into a reclined position on the cushions. I straddle him with forceful determination, and my midnight skirt bunched around my hips. My movements grew ever more frantic and desperate, my body screaming for the connection only he could provide. My Inner Goddess was almost manic, tearing at his clothes as if my life depended on the union of our two bodies. My lips remained plastered to his own as my fingers feverishly tore at the bindings of his joggers. In complicit acceptance, Jack met my berserk desperation, allowing me to dictate the pace in the heat of my instigation.
Freed from the confines of the midnight material of his pants, Jack’s bulbous glory sprung upward. I clutched him, guiding him between my thighs and impaling myself down every incredible inch with the desperation of a desert survivor. In the process, I realized that perhaps I should have proceeded with a bit more caution. Our connection was tight, and I winced ever so slightly, remaining statuesque. At the very least, I could have waited until I was more amply lubricated. In a few careless seconds, I had gone from greeting Jack to spearing myself down his thick monolith with no regard for foreplay. Distress for my lack of consideration rippled my brow. My Inner Goddess was hasty to point out that if his glory was any indication, the lack of foreplay was decidedly not on Jack’s mind.
All that set aside, legs bent on either side of his lean hips, I remained transfixed. It took several moments for my cocoon to adjust and expand in order to accommodate the girth already yearning to burst within me. I clawed the blanket beneath us, demanding my muscles relax and bidding my Inner Goddess be patient. Time was up. Sensing the pulsing swell of his crown, she flagrantly ignored my stretching delicate, choosing to roll my hips, grinding against Jack. I could not tell you where his hands were or if he uttered a word. Of this, I am sure, Jack was just as desperate as my Inner Goddess.
With a savage, impatient cry, I hoisted and dipped my hips fiercely, slamming them downward. Taking the cue or conceivably surrendering to his need, Jack began his own merciless bombardment. There was nothing to hold him back; there were no fears, apprehension, or even caution. He understood me far too well for all that. Witnesses to our rabid clash might have unnecessarily feared for our safety. We were uninhibited, licensing the flames of our magic to spark and lick, devouring our bodies with a barbaric intensity.
My Inner Goddess wanted everything. Every position. Every scene. Every stance. However, my body was lassoed, trussed under the secure cables of my fierce orgasms. With my head thrown back, nails embedded in his chest, and my eyes sightless in ecstasy, my Inner Goddess had no way to communicate her proclivity. She was a captive prisoner to her own craving. I would have laughed at her self-made predicament, but I was too absorbed in clinging to Jack for dear life.
Somehow, on my back, ankles over his shoulders, Jack pummeled my body as my pulsating cocoon milked his dense glory in vibrant orgasm after orgasm. The inferno coruscated in us blazed with a holy intensity. I knew, as my nails bit into his shoulder blades, my legs a vice grip around him, that we were not destined to last long. A fire burning with this much vehemence exacted its tribute. With a guttural groan, Jack balanced his forehead against mine and surrendered his soul to the magma of our union.
In the brilliant afternoon sun, our bodies liquified, pouring down the lava tubes of passion, mixing and intermingling until there was no longer a beginning or end. Our souls were fluid, moving in the flow of molten rock as our volcano erupted, obliterating the very sun itself as rock fragments fell around us like falling meteors.
Seconds, moments, perhaps years passed before our bodies and the simmering temperature of our connection quelled. We remained unmoving. The last orgasmic shudders were not quite finished with us.
“Hi,” I whispered. My words were the faintest whisper in the quiet room as our lava steadily cooled and hardened around us.
The tip of his aristocratic nose brushed my own. “Hi,” he whispered in a gruff voice that made my toes curl reflexively.
I giggled with silly happiness, burying my nose in the crook of his neck as I pulled him deeper into my welcoming embrace. He had returned to me. The world slowed to a stop around us, and I wanted nothing more than to simply exist in the purity of his presence.
That night, for some unknown reason, I slept fitfully. I had fallen asleep encased in Jack’s strong arms, his steady breath tickling the nape of my neck. It made no sense! First, I was too hot and then too cold, unable to secure the sweet succor of sleep in my own bed.
At some point, just before the first sign of navy blue enchanted the morning sky, something happened. Silent as a wisp, the ghost of Jael entered my room, a tent stake in one hand, a mallet in the other. As she had done to Sisera, she poised the point of the metal stake over my right temple, barely pausing before deliberately and repeatedly driving it into my skull.
The day that followed was brutal; the unexpected migraine (the stake being persistently driven into my skull) left me weak, nearly debilitated, and in a fetal position for most of the day. I lost an entire day to my suffering. Jack refused to leave my side, stroking my back, soothingly running his fingers through my hair, and holding a cold compress to my head as he crooned sweet nothings. My Inner Goddess had been mortified at my helpless, medicated state; nevertheless, there had been little I could do for myself. Exhausted, I wearily fell asleep in Jack’s concerned arms.
Finally, a new dawn peeked over the horizon. I was cautiously optimistic as I tenderly moved through my morning routine. The Fates were in a generous mood. My customary three-day migraine appeared to be limited to a single, albeit miserable, day. Tentatively, I breathed a prayer of thankful gratitude.
Jack prepared to return home once he was confident that the worst had passed and I was no longer wretched. My Inner Goddess furtively watched him move about my apartment, gathering his belongings while I lounged on the couch. I played with the detailed hem of my sage green teddy loosely hugging the relaxed curves of my body. The material was gentle against my still-sensitive skin.
My Inner Goddess sighed restlessly. The migraine had deprived her of an entire day of the intimacy she craved. She felt hollow and incomplete. This would never do.
Jack seemed heedless of my growing internal predicament. Unashamedly, I watched his movements with feline absorption. His subdued gray T-shirt grew taut over his ripped pectorals as he bent to slip into his feet into his birthday Hey Dudes. His jeans sat relaxed over his hips and thighs, belying the animalistic strength I knew to be coiled in those muscles. I bit my lip as he swung his computer bag over his shoulder. The movement effectually caused his bicep to surge and a thick vein bulged in his forearm. Gods of Olympus, have mercy. The ramifications were not fair to flaunt before this mere mortal.
That was it. I was left with no option but to take him, to seduce him, and to claim him as my very own. My Inner Goddess smirked at my timing. The god was literally walking out the door! The only thing left for him to do was to bid me farewell.
I smiled impishly, flexing my seductress muscles, eager to put them to the ultimate test. Would he laugh at my silliness and bid me goodbye or succumb to the power of our connection and lose himself with me? It was time to see just how much sway my deprived Inner Goddess held.
His lean, athletic form hovered, with barely a space betwixt us. Subtle, romantic lips brushed my mouth as his worry for my welfare manifested. His deep caramel eyes probed the depth of my hazel spheres. I amplified my embrace, flattening my lips against him, a silken moan escaping my Inner Goddess. Jack softened but was not fully disarmed, not daring to trust my entreaty after the agony of my migraine less than 24 hours earlier. Assuringly, my fingers seductively crept over his ribs, one finger at a time. My lips never left his as I pulled him a little tighter. Reluctantly, a bit more of him dissolved into me. His breath became shallow with each intake. I felt roguish in my burgeoning victory.
I expanded the glamor of my magic, baiting and amplifying the invisible bonds wrapping around his body and coursing through his lifeblood. Unconsciously, I moaned again, tilting and crushing my hips to his. My fingers crawled under the hem of his T-shirt, drawing my nails over his raw flesh with leisurely agony. I wriggled against him, asserting my fervent appeal. His glory bulged against my groin, straining against the unyielding fabric of his jeans. My nails bit into his skin. I. Had. Won.
His computer bag dropped to the floor with a resounding thud while his clothes flew from his body, landing every which way about my living room. I winked at him with devilish triumph as I hitched the hem of my cotton teddy over my hips.
Jack took me. With a feral ferocity, he claimed what was already his. There are no other words to describe it. I could feel everything about him through our connection: his sweeping concern, the pent-up lust, anxiety, and need for this connection. All this and far more flowed through our shared tether with unrestrained passion. Jack poured himself into me while simultaneously drawing me beneath his very skin. He pulled my essence within every chamber of his pulsing heart until there was nothing more to give and nothing more to take.
It was perfect. Ultimately, we clung together in a crumpled heap of intertwined arms and legs. Meanwhile, my Inner Goddess giggled in naughty satisfaction.
Finally, Jack rose from the couch bed. His bronzed skin was a warmer shade of deep rust as his body flushed in the afterglow. I could feel my lips puckering and swelling from the vehemence of my claiming. I touched them gently with my fingertips. Proud of my lingering trophy.
Fully dressed…again…Jack straightened to his full height, stretching his strained muscles. He inhaled, causing his broad chest to bulge, the outline of his pecs protruding from his summer shirt, and his lungs swelled with vital oxygen. My Inner Goddess whimpered and bit her knuckle. I pinched the underside of her arm, whispering, “Down, girl!” As he exhaled, his shoulders curled with a counter stretch. I cooed.
In a vibrant example of déjà vu, Jack leaned over my sprawled wonton body once more, bidding me farewell with the sweet ambrosia of his lips. My Inner Goddess clung to him, pressing my body to meet his. She meant every bit of it but also…tempted and teased him just because she could.
Jack half-growled, half-chuckled, “The things you do to me, woman!” I gave him my best imitation of an innocent smile, but neither of us believed it.
With tender adoration, his lips blessed the sacred space of my forehead as a finger caressed my once throbbing temple. Belongings gathered he blew a kiss from the open doorway, shutting it gently behind him. I thought that was the last of his loving gestures, but I was mistaken. As I lay on the couch bed, my eyes widened like saucers, and my heart palpitated fiercely as the deadbolt flicked shut, effectively locking me within. Even in his departure, Jack took every precaution to protect what was truly his.
Until next time, XO. Elsie.
Year of the Inner Goddess 