Year of the Inner Goddess

December 2023 – Audio Version

Like a snowflake that lands on your hand, glimmers, and melts in the heat of your embrace, its magic sinking to absorb beneath your skin, so too, the enchantment of my holiday with Jack sparkles its rare beauty before sinking within my core. A lingering kiss here, a soft caress there, rugged fingers running through my sapphire hair, each is an exquisite experience, each a delicate snowflake on my naked skin. My Inner Goddess soars on brilliant snowy wings at the memory of each encounter, each a priceless souvenir of an unexpected love. 

In no particular order, allow me to share a few of my dearest snowflakes.

The First Snowflake:

I can’t help it. I’m always the first to fall asleep. I wish I were a night owl like you—alert and prowling amongst the stars. As the Moon Goddess can long attest, she has often been the guardian of my slumbers, not my glittering dance partner. However, being a morning bird does come with certain privileges. Such as seeing your peaceful, sleeping face on the pillow next to me. A tranquil sentinel, I watch as the growing morning light warms and cascades over your bronzed skin. I smile as my mind inventories every curve and whisker of your modeled face. 

Inaudibly, I chuckle. No matter what orientation we fall asleep in, I always wake to our bodies touching in some way: hip to hip, my derrière to your hip, or my spine bowed along your arm as I lay on my side. We are ever touching. It is almost as if our once broken hearts are afraid the presence in the bed next to us is nothing more than a cruel figment of our lonely imagination. 

This morning, the rainbows from my frosted window have long been playing on the opposite wall. Still, I am captivated by the sublimity of your face and the steady cadence of your naked chest against my ivory sheets. We are lying side by side. Both of my hands are on my device, typing this core memory. I want to capture this moment in all of its flawless purity. While our legs are snug, thighs and knees touching, it is the placement of your hand that has me smiling. No, at this time, your hand does not have a mind of its own, and your arousing fingers are not exploring somewhere salacious. Not yet. Your mind is still a subject of the Dream Lord’s. Your left arm rests comfortably at your side, but it is your palm gently resting on top of my thigh that has caught my attention. Your slumbering mind seeks the constant reassurance that I am near, that I am real. 

I watch your muscular chest rise and fall, rise and fall, your face relaxed and slack in the depth of your sleep. I cannot help sending all my magical energy to reassure you of my love and presence. I press my knee a little closer against your leg and sigh in contentment. 

My Inner Goddess rustles restlessly. She is impatient for your libertine attention. To be fair, it is well after 8 am.  I do believe it is time to assure you of my love in…other intemperate ways! My Inner Goddess beams like an impish Cheshire cat, slinking after her cream.

The Second Snowflake:

I lie on my back, silken lingerie askew on my pale skin. The wintery air should have raised goosebumps over my body, but my flesh is on fire in the heat of Jack’s shameless attention. I’m panting. My fingers on either side of my head have the comforter’s fabric in a death grip. I see nothing, but I feel everything. The scruff of his beard mercilessly scratches my inner thigh. My skin twitches at the rough contact but begs for more.

A pitiful whimper emanates from my parted ruby lips. I detect every puff of his warm breath on the chilled, sensitive skin, making up the erogenous zone of my inner thigh. My Inner Goddess is shaking and jittery at the delayed gratification. Jack is holding himself back, building my anticipation, but the self-inflicted discipline is affecting him, too. I can feel his pulse racing. The prominent vein in his neck is throbbing. He wants to devour me, to deprive himself of air as he feasts on my nectar, his broad tongue parting the curtains of my slit, seeking the petite, responsive pearl at its tip. Perhaps he will destroy me as he abandons his self-restraint, devastating and consuming my soul. Perchance, I will let him. What a blissful way to go. 

The Third Snowflake:

My right cheek is pressed against my rumpled bedding. I am comatose as I finally lie on my abdomen. My weary arms rest like goalposts on either side of me, and my cramped fingers finally release the covers. So many sensational positions had been employed for our joint pleasure! Even my hamstrings ache after my ankles were compelled above my head for an extended period of time. My drowsy Inner Goddess smiles at the memory of witnessing Jack’s impressive glory thrusting impetuously into me with the fierce determination of a wild stallion. A faltering hand makes an attempt to fan her face at the intensity of the recollection. 

The tiny sapphire tendrils that escaped my ponytail are damp and limp on my temples. I cannot stir, but he can. Through closed eyes, I feel the heat of his body radiating on my glistening back as he prowls over me. How can he still move?

Unexpectedly, I sense his breath swirl across my buttocks, up the swoop of my waist to waft around my lower ribs. Rather than moving north to my shoulder blade and the inflect of my neck, Jack moves down the side of my body, nose nearly brushing the disorderly mattress. Tender lips embrace the soft mound of my ample breast that has been compressed by my prostrate body and is spilling out the side of my body. The unexpected gesture is tender and romantic. My breath catches, and my heart flutters at the connection. The butterfly kisses continue across the milky slope. I adore it. I never want it to stop. 

However, my exhausted body fears my insatiable Inner Goddess will rally with these intimate embraces. With the last of my energy, I pull my beloved next to me on the mattress and sleepily nestle into his bare chest. Satisfied with his nearness, I inhale his masculine essence. The Dream Lord, his bag of sand in hand, draws close, and my eyes close for the last time.

“We do not deserve this courtly lover.” This is my Inner Goddess’ last thought as we drift to sleep in the comforting strength of Jack’s arms. 

The Fourth Snowflake:

I make up a pretense. Excusing myself from our cuddled position on the couch, I step into the powder room. Well, not precisely a pretense, but still. On the way, I discreetly snagged my forest green negligee with its attached silver collar from its hidden location in my overnight bag. Jack’s unawareness of its existence has my Inner Goddess absolutely gleeful. Eagerly, I trade my fuzzy buffalo plaid loungewear for the minuscule, delicate lingerie. I adore how the silk becomes liquid as it artfully swathes my body. The draping V of the material is beguiling, barely clinging to each breast, and I worry about betraying myself too soon. I give stern directions to my bosom, instructing them to comport themselves and remain behind the fluid material, at least until Jack has had an opportunity to observe how the garment is supposed to drape and accentuate my body. 

Fearing I have taken too long and aroused Jack’s concern, I toss my loungewear in a corner and exit the bedroom. On tiptoes, I return to the main room. As if in slow motion, I witness Jack turn his head at my entrance, his mouth opening and eyebrows raised. He just sits there frozen, staring. While I do not fully comprehend the response, the image is forever immortalized in a hallowed place in my mind. I shake my head in slight amusement. It is the same me he has seen more than a dozen times! While elegant in appearance, the satiny material is a twopenny acquisition from Shein. Yet, Jack has me glowing in his bewitched stare. I feel radiant. This must be what the Queen of Sheba experienced as she stood in the presence of the great King Solomon.  

Nevertheless, a shy grin spreads across my face as I near the couch. Slowly, I lower myself onto Jack’s waiting lap. The fabric of his jeans is coarse against my unmasked thighs, causing me to shiver. I converge my loins over his own and feel his need twitch and strain against the suddenly restrictive material, begging to be released. His broad hands cup my derrière, lifting the silk and exposing my buttocks to the frosty night air as his hands glide up my lower back. 

“You like?” I say, my words come out in an almost breathless whisper. 

Jack’s response is to drown me in kisses. His palms are at my shoulder blades as he presses me deeper into his lips. With a surge, his hands slide to my thighs, compelling them to tighten around his waist as he rises. A giggle escapes between our mashed lips as I am carried into the room I had exited only moments before. Oh, this is going to be delightful! Jack is bewitched indeed. My Inner Goddess makes a mental note to keep this particular garment at the forefront of our wardrobe. 

With a bounce, I am deposited on the bed. Jack scrambles over me, pinning me to the bed with the sheer weight of his body and lust. His hands are everywhere on my body, arousing and inciting my acute passion. The forest silk is urged aside, exhibiting the succulent bulge and wanton nipples of each breast as his lips rove their beauty. The wee skirt is up around my waist, and my unveiled delicate would have been on full display but is crushed under his pelvis as he grinds the rugged jeans above my pearl. When changing, I wanted efficient ease of access, and I had forgone the matching triangle scrap meant to conceal my slit. Therefore, a wet spot is quickly developing on the front of Jack’s pants as his jeans lap and sponge my seeping nectar. 

I undulate beneath as best as I am able in my pinned position. My fingers tremble in impatience as I struggle to release the button of his jeans and free his anxious need. Jack supports himself with one hand on the mattress, hovering above me as the other aids me in removing his jeans. His mouth never leaves my breast, and further inflames my Inner Goddess. Our kisses became ravenous in the excitement of the moment.

In what might have appeared to be a perfectly rehearsed move, I guide his swelling girth to my dripping slit, and Jack thrusts within. I gasp at the awaited intrusion, every part of me arching, muscles straining, nerves firing as he buries himself to the very hilt, bulbous head near to bursting through my inner gate. I cry out, even as I tilt my hips to deepen the invasion, pulling Jack closer until our bodies are soundly compressed. I am overcome by the charged velocity coursing through and over our slamming bodies, and I never want it to end.

The Fifth Snowflake:

Snuggled in my fleecy loungewear, I lay at a 90° angle to Jack’s reclined body, my head cozily resting in his lap. We were sprawled on my couch/bed, watching something or another flicker on the wide screen before us. It was a laid-back and yet somehow still an intimate arrangement. Absentmindedly, Jack’s fingers ran across and through my sapphire curls. My eyes instinctively closed every time his fingertips brushed over my temple; it was altogether soothing, and I contemplated allowing myself to doze off. We had nowhere to be and no pesky responsibilities clamoring for attention. 

My fingers lazily traced atop the fabric of Jack’s loungers, lightly running from his knee to his inner thigh. It was a casual act, but I gradually repeated it, moving my fingers a little higher until I brushed his recumbent jewels at the height of my stroke. I would be duplicitous if I said I did not have ulterior motives. My Inner Goddess was bored, and our morning dalliance had been hours ago. However, I was rather engrossed in the show, and my nonchalance was an attempt to assuage and yet delay my restless Inner Goddess. 

Absorbed in a thrilling character arch, I unintentionally patted into Jack’s plump jewels. The appreciative moan from above me was all the invitation my Inner Goddess needed. Wordlessly, I cupped and fondled him. He could not see my grin as Jack shifted his hips a tad, allowing me easier access. I slowly proceeded, though still above the fleece fabric of his loungers. After all, we still had at least an hour of thrilling action to view.

We lay thus for some time, him continuing to stroke my hair and I fawning over his jewels. When my Inner Goddess could bear it no more, I found my hand sliding through the narrow opening at the front of Jack’s pants. I was helpless at the warmth and affinity of the skin-on-skin contact between my hand and his nestled jewels. My neck and Inner Goddess were keenly apprised of the substantial girth stirring under the fabric as his glory lengthened, stretching for his navel. Still, I dallied, keeping my motions subdued and circumspect. My internal check made my Inner Goddess pout, but I did not want to dash to the finish line. This time, it was about savoring every erotic second and…getting to the end of the movie. 

Nonetheless, I was having a devilish time focusing on the screen before me with my naked hand on his naked flesh and my head still reclined in his lap. My pulse rose, and my Inner Goddess practically whined for more. How long was I going to torture both of us?

Without pomp and ceremony, my caressing fingers extended upwards, grasped the neglected glory, rearranged fabric, and slipped Jack’s prominence to stand in the open air. Jack was naturally enviable on any given day, but in my supine position, he rose like an Egyptian monolith before me. My Inner Goddess licked her lips with lecherous yearning while a bit of drool dribbled from the corner of her mouth. 

I lifted my head a scooch, allowing me to lick my moist tongue from the base all the way to his glistening tip before capturing his pillar between my lips. Jack’s moan only incentivized my Inner Goddess to do more, take more of him. I restrained her. We would be composed, mellow even, and proceed in a lackadaisical manner. I assured my Inner Goddess that by delaying our pleasure and edging his, the reward would be nearly unprecedented in its power. She grumbled but conceded to my venture. 

And so we lay there, warriors flashing and fighting on the screen, his fingers tangled in my curls, my head in his lap, with my lips wrapped around his stiff glory. I luxuriated in my position, capriciously licking and bobbing on his strength like a popsicle. I adored feeling Jack’s breathing increase, his chest causing my head to rise and fall just a little faster as I continued to edge not only him but my Inner Goddess as well. 

“Enough!!” My Inner Goddess began to wail. “How long are you going to make me wait?!?”

I smirked and contemplated stalling further, but the dampness between my legs was increasing, and the growing ache in my loins was nearly unbearable. Relenting but with a mischievous smile, I sat up. Jack looked at me inquisitively, curious about my subsequent move, but with an intrigued twinkle in his eyes. I pushed my loungers off, discarding them onto the couch beside us. Jack followed my example, broadly grinning as I placed each hand on his solid shoulders, straddling his lap, and lowered myself down, down on his pole. Our groans melded and filled the room as our souls rose and joined in intoxicating euphoria. 

It was fast, profound, and transcendent. My teasing had worked us both into a fierce tizzy, and our mutual need was already at a dangerous level. My fingers wadded the material of his shirt in my fists for leverage. The realization that our shirts remained affixed to our bodies filled my Inner Goddess with wild glee! 

I alternated between grinding and bouncing the length of his protuberance as my body dictated. Jack’s arms wrapped around my form, gripping me tightly to his clothed chest in our mammoth expulsion. Gasping for air, we desperately clung to each other for an eternity until our souls at last returned to our mortal bodies. Sapped, his forehead rested on my breastbone, and my weary cheek lay supported on the top of his head as we paused, breathing in the afterglow twinkling and fading around us. 

Giggling like dotty teenagers, we freshened, redressed our bottom halves, and nestled together with my head on his thighs and his fingers tangled in my hair. It was as if nothing amorous had transpired. My Inner Goddess was elated and felt rather smug about the whole affair. The stupid grins plastered to our faces were the only tell-tell sign that hinted at our ephemeral union. 

The Sixth Snowflake:

We had sailed away, choosing to spend our evening in the magnetic company of buccaneers, marauders, and even a few of the Fae who had gathered in a joint celebration. Libations flowed as the stars capered in the galaxies beyond mortal touch. As time drifted by, I could have sworn that even the Moon Goddess herself joined us in the frivolities of the holiday gaiety, the swish of her luminescent skirts deepening the night’s enchantment. 

The lateness of the hour, the candid exhilaration of the assembly, and the free-flowing spirits had a wondrous, though not necessarily unexpected, effect on my disposition. My mind felt effervescent, frolicking with the stars, and my inhibitions were suddenly unrestrained and free to roam as they wished. My Inner Goddess seized the opportunity and wrested control of my mind and body. 

We had barely entered Jack’s abode and informally placed our coats on the backs of the dining room chairs. My Inner Goddess did not give me a second to debate the pros and cons of my subsequent initiative or possible consequences. She simply acted!

With lioness speed and concentrated ferocity, my Inner Goddess lept at Jack! My arms enveloped his neck, and my legs encased his waist. Jack grunted, his breath knocked from his lungs at the impact of my body slamming into him. But with boyish enthusiasm, he quickly matched the intense kisses strafing his lips, cheeks, and forehead. I giggled as Jack strode to the dimly lit bedroom and still rumpled bedding. 

My mind would have considered my actions impertinent and unmannerly. Nevertheless, the abundant burgundy cabernet slooshing through my system and the authoritative dominance of my Inner Goddess did not allow time for such personal introspection. I felt light and flamboyant in my elfin inebriation. What a night! What a life!

On the bed, we hurled toward each other in animalistic urgency. Clothing and undergarments flew about the room in our chaotic frenzy, falling like heavy snow in every corner of the spacious boudoir. It would have been a sight to behold if I had not been so occupied with pressing every inch of my body on Jack’s. Oh, to have had cameras inconspicuously encircling the room for our later viewing. A scheme for next time! 

It was with unabashed audacity that we slashed at the other’s body. Primal desire ripped through us, igniting an untapped furnace within us. Feverish hysteria such as we had not yet experienced held us in its clutches, with passion erupting around us in palpable waves. We strained in every position, muscles rigid and nerves fraught as we labored in a carnal fever. I felt high on the intoxicating combination of the salt of Jack’s body mingling on my tongue with the ambrosia of his kisses. My Inner Goddess felt heady, and her wings stretched in dazzling majesty. Yet, in a way, it was lacking? No matter how hard we tried, we still could not be close enough or deep enough. No, that was quite right; there was something else. That was it! In a moment of clarity, my Inner Goddess comprehended what was missing. I needed my insides rearranged! 

In what must have seemed like a crazed outburst, I tore away from Jack’s pistoning mastery and lunged off the bed. I grappled for the Liberator Ramp, angled congenially on the nearest wall, and fumbled terribly with it in my haste. I unceremoniously plopped it on the bed and scrambled on top, head down and hips up. The velvet edge of the foam was securely wedged against my hip bones. Unnecessarily, I wiggled my hips expectantly, but the unflappable Jack was already maneuvering behind me. 

Jack did not pause to test my limits but drove into my depth with unstoppable vigor. The masculine conquering of my femininity was sweet agony. My body admitted defeat and attempted to escape off the Ramp. Jack held me fast; my body was his, and I was not going anywhere until he had categorically claimed me. My Inner Goddess forced my hips back to receive the feral occupation, and to her satisfaction, my insides were brutishly rearranged with each ruthless thrust.

My body convulsed, spasming in the throes of my subjugation. I screamed into the mussed covers and clawed the cotton fibers. My body was slick with the assiduousness of our exertion. My mind was void of rational thought, every brain cell preoccupied with surviving the epic swells of my obliterating orgasms. Still, my Inner Goddess demanded more! Wait, more?!? My inner workings were already being redistributed! What else was there?!?

“Bite me!!” My Inner Goddess enjoined between climactic waves. Did she honestly just say that out loud?!

Unconsciously, I found my fingers brushing my limp sapphire curls away, unveiling my neck and exposing my jugular and the taut shoulder muscle above my clavicle. With good grace, Jack slowed his thundering and bent over my sloped back. The oppression of his body, his sculpted abdomen pressing against the ladder of my spine, enraged my Inner Goddess, and I exploded, lights bursting behind my clenched eyelids, flames razing my fragile system. I bit my knuckle at the fury and almost missed experiencing the heat of Jack’s breath swirling on my quivering shoulder and raising goosebumps as he hung back, lips pausing over my salty skin. 

Teeth fastened onto shoulder flesh, and I cried out at the blazing sensation. This was a new step for Jack and I! A dabble into an erotic kink of mine. My Inner Goddess was filled with senseless delight by his willingness to participate in this exceptional and curious act.

“Like that?” Jack inquired. 

His baritone rumbled an inch from my ear, causing my eyes to roll back into their sockets. Dear gods, I nearly crumpled into another orgasm while my mind replayed his question over and over until I could adequately comprehend the question. 

“Be honest!” My Inner Goddess hissed and gave me a stern glower. 

“Harder?” My reply came out more like a question than an answer. What if it was a disturbing act or uncomfortable proposition for him? Would he only do this for my benefit?

Jaws clamped down, teeth embedding themselves into raw flesh. Gods. Of. Olympus. A scorching inferno pervaded every inch of my soul, spawning savage orgasms. An incandescent burning licked our bodies, spreading and devouring us in its unquenchable annihilation. We were ravaged, bodies slamming and thundering in a terrifying cacophony of craving. Our impulsive hunger was insatiable. Our yearning was inextinguishable, and still, our bodies pounded and throbbed, the subdued lamplight reflecting off our perspiring flesh.  

I do not have the faintest idea how long we strove in our conjunction, our communion unfathomable in its profuse excess. In the fullness of time, our ethos having shattered, the fragments falling around us like smoldering embers, we collapsed. The sheets clung damply to our skin, bodies glistening with our lavish, sinful declaration. Dried tears crusted the corners of my weary eyes. I was too fatigued to concern myself with runny mascara. I promised myself I would rise early and attend to my disheveled appearance in the wee morning hours before Jack awoke. Drifting in the afterglow with my sweetheart was my primary concern for now. 

Despite his exhaustion, my Love pulled me into the strength of his embrace, curling his body to spoon and protect my own. My soul was overwhelmed by the tender gentleness in such striking contrast to the frightful performance only moments earlier. My Inner Goddess beamed as she drowsily coiled into the plush support of her chaise. In rapturous serenity, I surrendered myself to sleep. 

The Seventh Snowflake:

So here I sit. A dozen other memories flurry through my neurons, the intricate crystals begging to be forever immortalized. The sparks that flew at first touch. The memory of my head thrown back, throat vulnerable, eyes rolled back as I was consumed in waves of orgasmic euphoria. The feeling of the simmering, frothing sensations and the screams drowned in unleashed passion. Even now, my heart palpitates at the recollections, my need burgeoning into a tempest. Deep breath, Elsie! Stay in control and finish writing. 

There are prized snowflakes that might seem inconsequential but are cherished by my hopelessly romantic heart, tiny moments that threaten to fade away, lost in the mists of time. My head on his bosom, his heart rate a soothing lullaby to the chaos of my soul. The steady rhythm of his sleeping form. The almost absentminded way his hand slid about my hourglass waist as I prepared a meal. The butterfly pecks on my neck as his fingertips brush aside my curls. Or experiencing the simple but firm pressure of my hand in his as we strolled past shimmering Christmas lights. Mmm, be still my soul. All these snowflakes and more are enshrined with sacred reverence in my heart.

So, there you have it, one of the last chronicles for 2023 and the culmination of treasured and endearing moments this week with Jack. There was passion, lust, compassion, arousal, power, control, patience, tenderness, affection, and, on the deepest level, ardent love. I do not deserve such a memorable and extraordinary holiday break. 

My little heart is staggered as I reflect on my year. I bow my head, honored how my fortune is blossoming, and my feet are light as they skate through each captivating day. Wonderstruck, I twirl hand-in-hand with my gallant beau, barely able to comprehend the new chapter unfolding before me. 

Who can tell the salacious marvels to be celebrated and savored in 2024? I, for one, cannot wait!

Until next time, XO. Elsie