Year of the Inner Goddess

October 2023 – Audio Version

Like two reckless teenagers, Jack and I raced to his vehicle, eager to clamber into the backseat. My flowing dress and stilettos added to the complication and thrill of our forbidden tryst. The night air tingled, alive and vibrant, full of salacious magic and swimming in naughty desires. In the abandoned parking lot, the Moon Goddess peeked her crescent face around the corner, grinning in watchful delight.

My Inner Goddess giggled at our impending escapade, her intense need reaching a near-boiling point. While he was preoccupied with the door, I surreptitiously slipped out of my Shapeware and the tiny silk triangle shadowing my moist slit. Hastily wrapping them in a small bundle, I tucked them into a crevice in the seat. 

I grinned devilishly at my Inner Goddess’ readiness, her lips dripping with waiting kisses as she watched Jack fasten the door and clamber into the back seat next to me. Fiercely, I pulled him close, melting into the familiar heat of his body, fingers curling around his crisp button-down as his tongue sought the deepest recesses of my mouth. Drawing back, Jack began to undress. Unabashedly, I chuckled as I watched Jack struggle in his earnestness to undo his buttons, seeming to take longer than necessary. Wearing a gown and devoid of my delicates, I was the one waiting on him, only to be delayed by buttons, of all things! It was a bit of a reversal of roles, and the hilarity of the moment was infectious despite our panting desire. 

“We could just rip the shirt front!” Offered my desperate Inner Goddess.

I imagined what sound the flying buttons would make as they shot in all directions, plinking off the windows. I shook my head. We might behave like teenagers, but destroying a perfectly lovely shirt was quite another matter.  

As quickly as possible, Jack finished loosening his shirt. I spread my hands across his sculpted shoulders to slide the shirt from his body and expose his naked torso to my yearning body and the embrace of the cool night air. Something was wrong—the material caught, coming off his shoulders and no further. Tugging only made matters worse, trapping his arms in the starched fabric. I quickly discovered that the bottom two buttons remained fastened! I fumbled with the tiny bits of plastic, Jack doing his best to offer aid, but for the life of us, neither of us could get them undone!! My Inner Goddess rolled her eyes as I bit my lip and belly laughed. The silliness only added to the perfection of the night. 

When at last Jack was free of his clothes, his fingers sought the hem of my skirt, gathering it around to my waist. I lay back on the seat, pulling him into me, chest to chest, directing his throbbing glory to my ready slit. No lubrication was necessary, the naughty environment enough to tempt my lustful Inner Goddess. Jack plunged into me, causing us both to gasp in pure craving happiness. My fingers bit into the muscles of his shoulders, causing me to sharply remind my Inner Goddess not to mark his body in the fire of our euphoria. She relaxed our hold but just barely as my soul melted into Jack’s strong body in the tight confines of his backseat.

Not wasting a stolen minute, Jack pounded against my body, his arms bulging over me, my sapphire curls cascading over the seat of the car. I clenched my jaw, holding back the scream as my body climaxed, spasaming around his remarkable length. My Inner Goddess wanted to scream her pleasure until my throat was raw, yet she loved our circumstances’ forced secrecy and required silence. Jack was relentless in his mastery, seemingly determined to make me reveal our location – how exceedingly wicked of him! One hand clung to his bucking form while the other petite hand masked my mouth. However, it did little good to stifle my moans.

I felt my nectar begin to trickle down, and wet sounds mingled with our moans and the intense slapping of our pounding bodies. My mind wondered if I had hiked my gown up far enough or if a visible wet spot would tattle, divulging my carnal rendezvous. My Inner Goddess brusquely brushed away my worries, annoyed that my attention had been diverted by something of so little consequence. The shadows around us had only deepened, and there was not a spirit to be seen who might witness my body’s betrayal.

“Come here!” The growl of his voice filled me with animalistic lust, changing our bodies’ positions. 

Jack was close! More than anything, I wanted him, the crowning moment of a historic evening. It was remarkable how much room there seemed to be in the fever of the moment, no space too small, no position too awkward. With only the slightest bumbling, I turned my back to him, the fringe of my gown spilling over my body to my shoulders as I dipped my head and raised my hips, knees bent on the seat, presenting my hips to him. 

The power with which Jack gripped my hips as he tore into me sent the slightest shiver of thrilling fright through me. Unquestionably, I trusted him – the momentary alarm at his fierce savagery only fueled my Inner Goddess into a wild tempest. Gathering all her might about her, my Inner Goddess drove my body backward into each demanding thrust, deepening the penetration. Momentary pain and unprecedented pleasure fought each other for dominance of my body. I struggled not to scream, not to make a sound. I failed, abominably. My crown thumped against the back of the front seat, yet I barely noticed as I hung on for dear life. 

I sensed rather than felt the impending change come over Jack, the momentum altering ever so slightly as his focus transferred from my pleasure to his pent-up propulsion. Gods, sometimes I thought I lived for that glorious moment, his driving force emptying into the protection encased within me. My breath caught in my throat as my Inner Goddess pivoted to his pleasure, and we lost ourselves in the final barge. He spasmed, grappling to catch his breath before collapsing against me, his forehead resting on my exposed spine. Feeling exhausted and glowing, I cooed in satisfaction.

My knees, cramped from our passion’s tiny space and momentum, gave way. We crumpled, Jack on top of me, but I did not mind in the least, finding comfort in the secure weight of his body. Barely illuminated by the dim glow of an aloof street lamp, we giggled, pulling each other close in the minimal space of the back seat. Nevertheless, my head found its home on his still-naked chest as our fingers locked in the joy of our improper tryst. Heavens, we really were like two besotted teenagers! 

“Isn’t it wonderful?” Mused my dreamy Inner Goddess as I drove home alone later that night. 

“What is?” I quired, unsure what part of our outstanding evening my Inner Goddess was referring to. 

What I did know was that my thighs were still damp and slightly sticky, a sublime reminder of Jack and his incredible mastery of me. My body was confused at his absence. Was I not supposed to be sliding under the covers, falling asleep in the firm protection of his arms? My entire being pouted at the deprivation. 

“Isn’t it wonderful to be happy? To once more believe in the possibility of love?” Declared my Inner Goddess softly as she gazed at the glittering stars highlighting our homeward path. 

Happy? Love? For years, these words only existed as letters bound in a dictionary, certainly not as a noun or verb. Not in my life, not anymore…right? However, as the gentle music from the radio crooned about the small cabin of my automobile, I found I could no longer, in all honesty, believe that I was worthless and incapable of being loved. Something unexpected had shifted within me.

Circling my focus inward, I gazed at the haphazard pieces of my heart, stunned to find that it was not nearly as shattered and irreparably damaged as I once believed. In the heat of Jack’s adoring support, the sharp, broken edges were softening, rounding, and even melding back in concert with one another. Without my notice, the pieces of my heart had joined together, forming something unique, beautiful, and unforeseen. Something just strong enough to hold the light of hope and the trembling flower of love.

I blinked, dazed at the small blossom. When had that sprouted? Was it strong enough to bloom? I thought the seeds of love were forever withered and dried away, forgotten and dusty deep in a chamber of my heart barely stitched back together. Concern and apprehension swelled within me.

Most importantly, could I protect such a fragile plant? I could barely care for myself! My heartburn began to rumble in my esophagus, and alarm gripped my windpipe as my pulse escalated. 

“Don’t be afraid. We will do everything in our power to aid you.” Assured my Inner Goddess and the Queen of the Night Sky in unison. “Your power is greater than you know.”

Arriving home, I tenderly cradled the small plant clinging to life within my heart. I inhaled deeply as I contemplated its tiny leaves, tenderly caressing the soft edges. It looked so delicate and frail, but it was real, and it was mine. 

“I’m so afraid. I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered to the trembling plant. “Maybe…somehow, we can figure this out together.” 

Reflectively, I lay back on my bed with a sigh. What a memorable, implausible evening it had been! I nestled into my covers with the dainty bud cradled to my chest. Jack’s smile, his kisses, and his love were the last things on my mind before my weary body drifted into the arms of sleep. 

Until next time, XO. Elsie