Year of the Inner Goddess

September 2023 – Audio Version

Such a voracious experience with Jack requires a personal scribe to accurately depict each encounter in thorough, dripping detail. The weekend and his careful attention could have culminated into an entire book. Jack was truly a force to be reckoned with! Here is a brief account of a nearly indescribable weekend with him. All ten salacious affairs are separate with time and space between. Jack was a wondrous lover who took his time seducing every cell of my body in various positions. I have carefully abridged the following for time and my own personal enjoyment. These snippets are mere peeks out of fuller experiences. I do hope you will enjoy it.

One: While my Inner Goddess longed to be released from the confines of my floor-length summer dress and the uncomfortable pressure of the knotted bow irritating my spine. My body felt sophisticated in the tasteful gown as it danced about my ankles and plunged dangerously low between the cavernous depths of my bosom. I yearned to be admired and adored by the man before me to the fullest extent. Yet, I mused, neither my body nor my Inner Goddess would be allowed control tonight. I lounged on his sofa and sipped my crystal wine, making myself wait while I savored his companionship. Though I was nearly melting from the heat of my desire, I was feeling a bit mischievous and curious about how our evening would proceed, determined to let the events play out without too much coercion on my part. 

To my delight, I soon discovered that I was also not in charge as in one swoon-worthy move, Jack swooped me into his arms and transported me to the bedroom with masculine ease, then gingerly placed me on the bed. My pulse raced. I felt like a queen while my Inner Goddess giggled in sheer joy. My toes reflexively curled and uncurled in anticipation, and I bit my lip before tiling my chin up for his mouth. Despite the zeal of our kisses, my body reminded me of the knotted material digging into my back. Hmmm, this would never do. Pushing against his lips, I sat up. Breaking our kiss, I twisted my back to him and settled my sapphire curls over my shoulder while he deftly untied the ribbons to my gown. I allowed the midnight fabric to slowly fall off my body and ripple down my breasts as I turned to face him. Jack’s marveling response was everything a woman could wish for, causing me to sputter and blush furiously. Why had I waited so long when this was what I wanted from the moment I put my vehicle into park, cutting off the engine in the inky darkness?

Bending over me, I moaned into another riveting kiss as Jack tilted me back, carefully pulling the gown over my wide hips and slowly gliding over my legs before dropping off my toe tips. My silky noir panties followed my dress, though far more quickly. I was now on unabridged display, though I did not feel exposed as I lay spread over his crimson comforter. I watched his roving eyes travel over my body, wondering where to begin, while my Inner Goddess panted in expectancy. Jack’s undressing was not nearly quick enough for us, even though he had only a top and shorts to discard. I reached my arms to him, fingers wiggling, beckoning him to hasten to my body. Jack crawled onto my nude form with a smile that could illuminate the darkest grotto, fingers burrowing into my sapphire curls, his hot breath on my cheek as his weight enveloped my body.

“Why didn’t we do this sooner?” My Inner Goddess groaned with heat and passion as Jack’s body retreated, but he buried his face between my legs, kissing up the length of each inner thigh. 

I could only shake my head as I succumbed to Jack’s ardent will, drowning in pleasure, as I bucked and arched at his swirling devourment of my goddess. What did it matter? Time, no, the world and everything in had stopped. The night and all its mysteries were ours and ours alone. 

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Two: My mind was thick with precious sleep as my fingers reached to silence the persistent clang of the alarm. Where was I? Why was my alarm going off? These questions and more peppered my sluggish mind until I felt a naked body sidle up behind me; soft breath tickled the tiny curls at the back of my neck. Jack nuzzled closer, kissing the rise of my shoulder as his hips and legs morphed around me. My Inner Goddess grinned with devilish mirth. Jack was not the only one awake and wishing me good morning. 

“We haven’t time for any of that!” I protested half-heartedly and rolled over, hating to disappoint Jack’s growing need and my greedy Inner Goddess. 

Jack nestled his face between my breasts with a sigh as his muscular arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his sleepy embrace. My body instantly relaxed, and my eyes fluttered closed in the comfort. My mind ran all sorts of calculations. How long could we stay entwined and more? Inner Goddess voiced all types of excuses that might allow us to bow out of our pending engagement gracefully. 

“Cough, cough,” weakly faked my Inner Goddess. “I don’t feel well.” I rolled my eyes. 

“We have a little time,” came the half-smothered plea from my bosom. 

Outmatched, I could not fight Jack’s closeness or my Inner Goddess’s yearning and surrendered with a chuckle. Triumphant, my Inner Goddess miraculously healed, took charge, and I found myself straddling Jack’s hips. My goddess was already glistening in anticipation. Selfishly, I began to grind against his vigor, reveling in his length as he became slick with my morning desire. Jack groaned, chin tilted back as his hands wandered my body. My movements edged us toward a dangerous situation as my actions quickened and my mind blurred with my blossoming orgasm. Ever the gentleman, Jack’s outstretched arm fumbled for the metallic square, and I lifted just enough and barely long enough to slide the protection down his engorged glory. Once adjusted, I bent over his prone body, cupped his chiseled face, and kissed him with everything in me. I was grateful he had the strength and fortitude my Inner Goddess and I seemed to be lacking. 

Our bodies, now connected, flowed in communion with the soft morning sunbeams. Heavens, how he stretched and filled me with every penetrating thrust. Pleasure permeated every fiber of my mind, body, and soul. I adored the way his great hands gripped my hips to meet the pounding demands of his thrusts. My breast bounced in his face, and my knees clenched on either side of his body as I threw my head back in sheer carnal ecstasy. 

Our bodies wove a pattern of enchantment that sealed the room until we were the only living beings on earth. The world faded away as we lost ourselves in the intimacy of our souls. Our plans would just have to wait.

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Three: I lay naked on his bed. My freshly washed hair spread over the pillow like a watery sapphire halo while the water droplets I missed slowly evaporated off my skin under the fan’s hum. The summer sun had been relentless in its burning intensity, and the cool shower had felt exquisite on my scorched and tender skin. I felt my exhausted muscles relax into the mattress’s springs as sleep settled over my eyelids. My mind was barely conscious of the adjoining shower shutting off with a protesting squeak. 

“Good,” I thought drowsily, ready for a cuddle buddy.  

Wordlessly, Jack joined me. Without opening my eyes, I immediately snuggled close, my head on his shoulder, my right leg looped over his thigh. Sighhh. Jack’s soothing fingers whispered up and down the length of my body, putting me in a near-hypnotic trance. Sleep was so close, my eyelids so heavy—his strong, steady heartbeat beneath my palm pulsed like a gentle lullaby. Back and forth, his fingers whispered over my body. Contentment blanketed my body as his muscular arms clutched me to his chest.

I began reciprocating his attention. My fingertips trailed down his sternum, absentmindedly cupping and caressing his weighty jewels. I am not sure why massaging and fondling a man’s jewels is a favorite pastime of my Inner Goddess, but even in my sleepy state, this was the connection she craved. She sighed happily.

“The things you do to me.” He whispered, kissing my forehead.

“Mmm?” I murmured, puzzled. What was he talking about? 

A slight shift of his hips caused something damp to brush against my wrist. Oh…oh my!! My Inner Goddess was instantly awake, a devilish gleam in her twinkling eyes. My thumb swirled the underside of his ridged head, feeling the warm pre-cum, wetting his tip. Sleep had never been less important. There was something far more urgent that required my attention. Moistening her lips with her tongue, my insatiable Inner Goddess positioned herself over his hips. It was time for a snack.   

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Four: My eyes opened bit by bit, the room now bathed in the coppery saffron of late afternoon. Beside me, Jack lay adrift in the hibernation of sleep. The softest snores, just whiffles of sound, informed me of the depth of his rest. I cherished watching him sleep, a portrait of masculine serenity. For a short time, I occupied myself by catching up with the outside world. Rolling over had been a significant feat of agonizingly slow movements, precisely timed to his breathing, to retrieve my mobile device from the nightstand without disturbing his slumber. I was rather proud of myself. 

At half-passed the hour, my Inner Goddess decided Jack had enjoyed a long enough respite. She argued it was rather our duty to wake him, noting that if the hour got any later, he might not be able to sleep that night. That would be a travesty!

“Honestly,” she reasoned. “Waking Jack is entirely for his benefit and not my own!”

My Inner Goddess was lying through her teeth, and we both knew it. Still…she had a point. I carefully rotated to my side, fingers teasing the whispy curls between his sculpted pectorals while my lips softly kissed his shoulder. Jack’s long lashes fluttered. Noting my upturned face, a smile perked the corner of his lips. 

“I’m sorry to wake you, but I was laying here, feeling neglected, so…hi.” An impish grin hid my second-guessing.

I suddenly felt uncertain how Jack would respond to being woken up, and my heart thudded in my ears. My mischievous words had purely come from my Inner Goddess – I would never want another person to feel like my happiness, entertainment, or pleasure was their responsibility! Would Jack take my words personally? What if he felt pressured to perform and wanted to hang out for the rest of the evening? My ridiculous mind became a whirlwind of worry and apprehension in just nanoseconds. 

“Is that so?” A slight rumble braided in his voice. “I guess we will have to remedy that!” Jack’s smile widened. 

Relief swept through the chambers of my mind as I clambered on top of his body, inhaling his warm, sleepy kisses. His glory was already hardening between us. Gods, he was intoxicating and ready so instantaneously! The wings of my Inner Goddess fluttered on full display as my need swelled, suffusing my body as his hands roved my body. 

I lowered myself onto his dominance, crying with lust and completeness. My fingers clawed the pillow around his head as my climax bathed and flooded my soul. Jack’s hands were like a vise on my waist as he forced me to seesaw over his loins. 

With a growl, Jack took control, flipping me onto my back, his extraordinary glory still buried within my goddess. My Inner Goddess beamed with wide amazement. Jack was undoubtedly filled with impressive surprises! Arms pillared on each side of me, he bent his head, taking my breath away with his kisses and the fullness within me, already moving and teasing my inner jewel. Jack’s campaign rocketed through me, threatening to split me in half.

“I can’t wait to see what other surprises he holds!” My Inner Goddess moaned as my climax crescendoed, claiming us in dazzling orgasmic power. If she only knew then that our weekend was just beginning!

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Five: The night was hushed, not a soul in sight, and our toes dangled over the cliff, with only the stars as silent guardians. Our conversation had flowed as smoothly as the calm river beneath our feet. In the pale light, the soft breeze against our skin, we laid our souls bare before each other. It was the rare communion of two lonely souls finding the grain of connection sparking and glimmering in the tranquil comfort of the night. Words cannot describe the feeling of being not only seen but understood. I felt tension and pent-up stress melt away with every passing hour in his presence. Not once had Jack mocked a revelation or interrupted, but he opened up and displayed his vulnerability, deepening the weaving enchantment of eventide. 

We lay on a cushion, gazing at the galaxy above us, lost in our recent revelations. I huddled into Jack’s arms, breathing in the familiar scent of water on his skin. Instinctively, his arms cloaked around me, but something was not right, and I pulled away. I was not close enough. I needed the intimacy of his flesh on my flesh. The compulsion had nothing to do with my Inner Goddess but the crowning union of minds, hearts, and souls. I fumbled with the closer of my dress, voicelessly cursing not only the need for clothes but also Jack’s ease. He had removed his shorts and T-shirt in mere seconds while I still struggled with my one garment. Finally, I extracted myself from the cotton confines and returned to nestle in his arms. Uninhibited, we lay in our nakedness, arms, and legs intertwined, as our souls mingled. 

Restful, I wanted more. Our minds and hearts had experienced a beautiful union, and now my Inner Goddess yearned to share in the bond. My caressing fingers tentatively traveled south over Jack’s washboard abs to discover the stiff outline of his glory. My Inner Goddess rejoiced; Jack felt the same way! Wordlessly, gratefully, I moved over his naked body and rigid glory. My hair fell in sapphire waves around his face as I kissed him, and he kissed me. I stretched my body over him, my breasts pressing into his torso. 

With a tilt of his hips, we were one—mind, soul, and, at last, body. We moved as one fluid organism—the final puzzle piece in place to complete a night of unexpected allure and magic. Oh, to have been a shimmering star and witnessed the depth of our sensuous union. 

“Wait, you have to see this view,” Jack whispered, his hands anchored on my hips, gently arresting our coursing bodies. 

I lay back and gasped at the majesty of the glittering heavens silhouetting Jack’s broad shoulders. The stars seemed to dance and flirt all around him. My fingers clung to him as Jack’s thrusts intensified and amplified until my orgasms reached the planets and galaxies far above us. 

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Six: The night was still ours, stars freckling the heavens. The tides of our need had turned from soft romanticism to raw carnal demand. My body and Inner Goddess were angled over a cushioned bench, one knee bent on top for reinforcement. My knuckles were white as I clutched the back of the seat for support. Jack’s fingers hooked around my hipbones as the assault of his hips pounded against my body with profound dominance and force, rocketing my body back and forth. My Inner Goddess’ screams echoed over the placid river, begging him to go harder, deeper, faster while my mind reeled from the volatile impact. Jack needed no words. He controlled my body, flaming the furnace of my covetous want with every straining plunge. 

Though his fierce rhythm remained unchanged, I felt the escalating shift swelling unseen behind and around me. It drove my Inner Goddess into an impassioned frenzy of burning. I needed him. I wanted every bit of his essence. Every inch of his body within me. I pushed my hips into his brutal momentum as his groans rose to fill the night sky. With a vigorous shout, our bodies exploded into orgasmic stardust. I slumped onto the bench as Jack crumpled over my back, gasping in harmony together as we recovered.

With dazed chuckles over our licentious experience, we collapsed into each other’s arms on the open mattress. I was exhausted beneath the stars once more and heavy with sleep. My lashes fluttered shut as I nuzzled into the heat of Jack’s body. Despite the heaving of his chest, he still had the strength to softly brush his fingertips over my skin. The last flickering memory was of my Inner Goddess cooing in happiness at his tender affection.

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Seven: I was awakened to tiny kisses on my shoulders and in the tiny sapphire whisps at the nape of my neck. My eyes still sealed, I beamed as I wiggled my hips deeper into the curvature of Jack’s spooning body. Three years of waking up alone had taught me to cherish the precious moments, especially when they included waking up to dawning sun snuggles. I lay immobile, selfishly absorbing his touches and kisses as he explored my body. 

My mind was just starting to wonder about breakfast, a steaming cup of French tea, and our agenda for the day when my thoughts were abruptly halted by a certain pressure digging into my lower back. Slowly comprehending the meaning of Jack’s attention, my eyes grew wide as sunflowers. I had let my Inner Goddess sleep, incorrectly assuming our late-night tryst counted for our morning union. How very, very wrong I was. 

His hips began to undulate around me, and my Inner Goddess instantly responded. Wide awake now, I tilted my head back to greet him with a kiss I fervently hoped was devoid of dragon breath. I should not have been so surprised at how primed and eager my body was for the ravenous gentleman. I could barely contain my Inner Goddess and her wanton delight.

Still resting on my side away from him, the protective sheath and the lusty head of his glory burrowed between my thighs and effortlessly within my glistening goddess. Yes, yes, yes! Unable to resist, I buried my face in the fabric of the pillow to muffle my moans, forgetting there were no neighbors to hear and complain. 

I loved it. The crisp morning sun filtering in, the steady hum of the fans, and the man behind me using my body for our mutual pleasure. My body, my soul, my Inner Goddess was bewitched. How did I get to be fortunate? How did this king among men sustain so much virile stamina? For the first time, I questioned if my Inner Goddess had met her match! Secondly, I wondered if I would be able to keep up with his unflappable virility.

“Speculate later,” panted my thrashing Inner Goddess. “Cum nowwwwwww!!”

My Inner Goddess was right, and my mind pushed the questions beyond the enchanted barriers of the bedroom. Such queries could wait for breakfast. Right now, there was a marvel governing my body, ruling my Inner Goddess with the shrewdness of a virtuoso lover. And with that, sunrise fireworks showered my form with exquisite release. 

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Eight: We had graced the public with our presence, dined on a simple lunch, and returned to the cool welcome of the house. Jack excused himself for a moment. Ambivalent about what to do with myself, I meandered into the bedroom. Like a siren’s call, the plush bed with its tousled bedding beckoned me closer. Clothes and all, I surrendered, spread eagle over its welcoming surface. 

“So, this is what we are doing?” Chuckling, Jack entered the room.

“MMmhmmm,” Came my muffled response. I did not even bother to lift my head or open my eyes. I was a prisoner to the bed and my increasing lethargy. Or, so I believed. 

Amused, Jack joined me on the bed, where I mustered just enough energy to roll over and sprawl over his chest with a satisfied sigh. I was not tapping out, oh, not even remotely. Sleep: I just required a little nap to tide me over. Kissing my forehead, Jack wrapped his stalwart arms around me and began sensuously sedating my skin with the faint brush of his fingertips. Defiant of my body’s wishes for rest, my Inner Goddess felt mischievous and not a bit knackered. This impishness was further proof that my body and the Inner Goddess were two entirely different beings, leaving me pulled somewhere between the two. Damn, he was irresistible. 

“Hmmm…I’m still dressed, and there is no way you can get to me.” I burbled teasingly against his sternum. 

Seeing if this was indeed the case, his fingers intently roved my body, tugging here and there at the cotton material protecting my body. My Inner Goddess high-fived me for my choice of a soft sage jumpsuit. While I had initially chosen it for its simple comfort, I had to agree it was a naughty barrier. I tried to gauge Jack’s interest. Was he just touching me for the sake of connecting and my snarky remark, or was his need surfacing its own?

“See, no access,” I grinned maliciously. “Even the wooden buttons are fake,” I smirked at Jack’s curious fingers. 

The thing was, I did not want to be clothed! The garment needed to be shredded from my body! If I could have vanished it away, I would have. My Inner Goddess wanted to tantalize and provoke him, but my body wanted his skin on my skin. Now!

Proving, with gentlemanly firmness, that he knew precisely what he was doing, Jack abruptly slipped the strap of my jumpsuit down my upper arm to hang just above my elbow but paused and planted a gentle kiss on the top of my shoulder. My heart melted, and my Inner Goddess shuttered, knowing full well his strength far outmatched my own. Jack could easily overpower me, yet he chose a sign of affection, mixed with the slightest hint of dominance or control, with the tender embrace on a non-erotic part of my body. From his nature and aura, I did not judge Jacke to be quite capable of it, but to my relief, there was no aggression in his actions. I was captivated, unsure I could breathe or even think. What was I going to do with this man?

I have never extricated myself out of a jumper so expeditiously. In my haste, I did not witness Jack’s undressing. Had he come to bed naked? It mattered not. All I cared about was our naked bodies as I took my turn between his legs. I could feel the heat of his body against my cheeks as I pulled his thick length toward my lips. My Inner Goddess hungered for him as I licked up the underside toward the sweetness already glistening from the slit on his tip. Jack moaned at my ministrations, head tilted back as the groan resonated around us. It only made me more dedicated in my efforts, taking him into the dark recesses of my throat as both hands wrapped around his girth, stroking the slick length as he swelled in my fingers and neck. 

It was not long before Jack was pulling me up to straddle his hips, stretching the length of his form. Jack’s tongue invaded my mouth, and his lips pressed into mine as our souls crashed and blended in a rapturous fog of yearning. My wanton goddess was wet with readiness, coating his rich glory with my nectar. I loved watching Jack fumble for protection, our energy unwilling to spend another mortal moment apart. 

And he was mine again. 

Afterward, I nestled in my favorite spot, my left cheek pressed against his chiseled pectoral, my hand resting gingerly over the pounding of his beating heart. My own heart thrashed wildly while my lungs wheezed. He whispered sweet nothings as our breathing gradually slowed in the afterglow. Jack’s arms were so tight around me. I felt protected, like nothing could touch me. And with that, right in the middle of his anecdote, I drifted into blissful unconsciousness.

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Nine: “Come here.” My hand felt so delicate inside of his strong fingers as he led me back into the bedroom. 

My Inner Goddess danced on her tiptoes in eager expectation. Nibbling dinner, we had been cuddling on the couch as the TV flickered before us. A few hours had floated passed, Jack was ready for more, and my Inner Goddess was over the moon at the change of plans. 

Ooohhh, what an experience it was! For the first time in my 17 years of sexual exploits, my body experienced what it was like to be genuinely suspended, weightless, and floating in mid-air. Sure, it had taken some giggling and awkward maneuvering to slip the cushioned straps beneath my arms and lower back, my feet in each loop until I dangled feet above the maple floorboards. It was categorically not my most graceful moment to date. However, not noticing or choosing to remain silent on my clumsy attempts, Jack said nothing and just beamed as he assisted me.

“Something tells me we will get much, much smoother at this,” purred presumptuous my Inner Goddess. 

Self-conscious thoughts about my abdominal rolls began worming their way into my mind. In such a position, it was rather tricky to pose seductively and nearly impossible to hold myself “just so.” I felt rather helpless in my predicament. At that moment, I turned my gaze and caught Jack’s twinkling eyes and the “Christmas Morning” grin creasing his handsome face. Once more, the world faded away, and there was only him. 

What a thrill it was! My heart still races at the memory. Head thrown back, sapphire waves rippling down into empty space, the loose polyester strap ends wrapped around and around each hand for support while my body swung back and forth in the swing. My Inner Goddess was utterly subservient to his rugged might, dependent on him for every fragmenting orgasm. My body shook and convulsed, overwhelmed with the sense of flight and explosive energy of my forced orgasms. I wanted to watch us, to see my body sway in the straps, to watch the sinews of his thighs bulge as he shot my body back and forth in rapid succession. Nevertheless, it was impossible to open my eyes; so magnificent and shattering was the power of my journey from his volatile barrage. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll watch us next time.” My Inner Goddess’ whispered promise filled my ear while my body hung limply from pure orgasmic bliss in the straps. 

She was undoubtedly feeling brazen! Part of me wanted to scold my Inner Goddess for her audacity, but then again, I really, really wanted to try the swing again. I was tongue-tied, lightheaded, and a bit dazzled as we returned to cuddle on the sofa. Goodness, the things Jack brought out and did to me! 

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Ten: Once more, I was in my place, head on his chest, body draped over his. I was radiant, thoroughly spent, but radiant. Little kisses dotted my forehead and cheek simultaneously; every reachable line of my body was traced. More for my delectation than Jack’s, my fingers dreamily fondled and stroked his heavy jewels. Through half-lidded eyes, I watched superheroes dash about the screen, creating time travel and racing to save the world once more from imminent disaster. 

“What are you doing to me?” His deep voice queried. 

Puzzled, I perked up slightly, trying to understand what Jack was talking about. GOOD HEAVENS!! The man was a virile god of rippling masculinity. He was ready to go once more. The springs in her velvet chaise threatened to break as my Inner Goddess jumped up and down in celebration. She completely ignored my order to get down and behave. She might be ready for another exploit, but my body was weary, and my thoughts heavy with sleep and the summons of faraway dreams.  

Arguing was ineffectual. My gleeful Inner Goddess was already ardently kissing him, my breath coming out in short gasps. I adored his insatiable appetite and inexorable ability to keep pace with my Inner Goddess. I was a bit perturbed. Between Jack and my Inner Goddess, would I survive? What were my chances of being able to stand or carry on a rational conversation at work the following day? Or intoxicated on memories, would I be a grinning fool, gazing absently at my monitors?

I found myself on all fours, elbows digging into the mattress for leverage, as I held my body against the onslaught of Jack’s perfect exacting thrusts. Gods, how did he get me cuming so darn quickly? My body strained under the forceful impact. I loved it—absolutely every second as I tried to absorb and memorize the craving of our bodies. An entirely new experience ruptured my thoughts when Jack placed a palm on my lower back, pressing down and somehow altering the connection between us. Orgasmic fireworks explode not only through my body but also through my soul. My screams were barely muffled in the pillow I nearly inhaled. My Inner Goddess wondered if we had ever cum so magnificently! 

As my latest orgasm strove to subside, Jack urged me flat onto my stomach, his palms offering a little encouragement against my rounded peaches. It was a superb position we had enjoyed a myriad of times, yet, to my mortification, I could not figure out how to get into the pose. I was already on my hands and knees, for heaven’s sake, yet my mind was thoroughly befuddled. How did it work? How had I gotten there in the past? Misunderstanding the dilemma, Jack whispered the direction once more. I nodded my assent, my brow furrowed in puzzled confusion. 

“Move! Do something!!” My Inner Goddess began wringing her hands as her snowy wings flapped in panicked confusion. All I had to do was prostrate myself. 

“I’m trying – I can’t move!!” I silently wailed. “I can’t feel my knees. Anything I do will cause me to fall on my face!!”

By that point, Jack’s hand circled the inside of my thigh, carefully drawing it back. With his assistance and very little grace, I somehow managed to get myself into a prone position. My Inner Goddess smacked a palm to her forehead. Great, had I reached an age that meant I now required aid just to transition into different sex positions? My Inner Goddess was never going to let me live the memory down. Thankfully, she was soon too distracted, lost in the throws of our next orgasm, to chide me. I could feel Jack’s need swelling as his breathing became labored, his imposing thighs a blind volley against my buttocks as he propelled his merciless glory to the deepest reaches of my body. 

“YES, YES, YES, YES!” I cried in unison with my Inner Goddess. “Cum with us!!!!” We shrieked into the night. 

Gods have mercy, did he cum with a demanding and formidable drive, his thumbs imprinted on either side of my spine as his fingertips gouged into my naked flesh and the springs of the bed cried their encouragement. The experience felt eternal and boundless—our union, transcendent. 

Much later, I would ponder over not just our weekend but the few months proceeding. My mind tried to make sense of it all. He was terrifying, strange, and yet his soul felt familiar. He was like no one else in my universe, a reality that made my shattered heart quake uncontrollably. My core felt tormented and torn between too many conflicting emotions. My Inner Goddess was electrified when I was with him, going insane for his touch, and his presence rippled through me like healing water. With him, my mind felt inspired, serene, and optimistic. Yet, if I took an introspective look, every feeling was tinged with fear and trepidation. 

From my parapet, I was once more overlooking a vast frozen lake as it glittered in thrilling invitation. Twice before, phantoms had charmed and enticed me. I had ventured forward with them on hesitant steps across the mirror-like surface as whispered words of support and affection promised a different experience. Both times, the icy diamonds beneath my feet fractured, plunging me beneath the surface to drown as the arctic waters paralyzed my still-broken heart and frostbite knawed at my tender scars. 

My pessimistic mind was already barricading the walls and deepening the moat to keep me away from the captivating water while my hopelessly romantic heart wistfully peered over the battlements. Did I dare lace on my ice skates, captivated by the wintery beauty and the dazzling joy of the blades beneath my feet, itching to soar across the clear surface? Or should I heed my dubious mind, listening for the telltale crack of ice announcing my doom? With every sweet encounter, my instincts shouted a warning, telling me to flee and save myself! 

These thoughts and a million more permeated my mind for days with no discernible answers. Over and over, my heart returned to muse on wise Demeter’s words, “Put on some ice skates, and eventually, you will do some twirls on that ice. It’s okay to love life for once.” Love life? Was it even possible for someone like me? Had not the Fates cursed me to a life of solitude? With my protective battlements close enough for me to scurry behind, blood pounds in my eardrums. I am terrified. With excruciating slowness and trembling fingertips, I tentatively lace up my skates.

Until next time, XO. Elsie